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| Happy Thanksgiving |
Day 1- I am thankful for the free Tupperware I receive every time I order Chinese food. In fact, whenever I need more "Tupperware" I just order Chinese food. Sure I could go to the dollar store and pick up containers cheap, but last time I looked, those containers did not include free General Tso's Chicken. Hello? Why would I do that when I can order take out from the Jumbo China Buffet and get a two for one special. Duh! Merry Christmas to me.
Day 2- I am thankful for the hard plastic drinking cups complete with a straw and a lid. So many trees have been spared just by my using these cups alone. It's not that I'm clumsy or anything, I just tend to knock over or drop my drinks like..... 5-6 times a day. (And that is just at work.) That's a whole lot of paper towels. Technically I am saving the environment in my own little way. If I weren't so clumsy, I wouldn't buy these cups and then.....well. Forget it. If I weren't clumsy I would be saving the environment from plastic and saving trees. I think. Screw it. I just confused myself.
Day 3- I am thankful for the people that understand the concept of driving lane and passing lane. It's a rare gift of insight that I seldom see practiced on my way to work every morning. If there is one thing that drives my crazy to the point of Linda Blair spinning head, it is driving behind a car that is going 35 mph in the driving lane and a car that is going 36 mph in the passing lane. The kicker is....the speed limit if Forty Freakin Five!!!! There are mornings it takes every ounce of strength for me not to slam my head off the dashboard. Speed up to 40 Mr. Dainty Ass driver, pass the guy, get in the driving lane, then get the f@ck out of my way. OMG!!!!!!!
Day 4- I am thankful for nicotine. Yes. Smoking is bad. Yes. I am an evil person for smoking. Yes. I know it smells bad, makes my teeth yellow, clouds up my lungs, zaps the oxygen from my blood, costs a lot of money and is the reason I hack every time I walk into work. (Well walking through 10-21 degree temps will do that to anyone. It's a bitch slap. Not gonna lie.) However, nicotine controls the crazy. Like that E Greeting....there are some people that should be very thankful I can control the crazy. Nicotine helps. And I can be one crazy bitch when pushed to my limits. (It takes a whole lot to get there but there are a few people that have pushed me there, trust me. I scare myself when this happens but I've accepted that.) I have a good crazy and a bad crazy. You should be so lucky to see the good crazy in me. You are a huge asshole if you see the bad crazy in me. Anyways, nicotine controls some of us crazies. I am thankful that nicotine has kept me out of jail for all these years. Well.... maybe fear of being someone's bitch is the real reason but I'm going to go with nicotine just because. Smoke em if you got em' and be thankful you are not someone's bitch!!
Day 5- I am thankful for the colder months because it means less exposure to the loud, dirty, annoying neighbors a few houses down from me. If there is one "hands down" benefit to living in a climate that gets a full winter season, it is seeing less of the people that make me want to chew glass. Yes, you heard me right. I said chewing glass. Why? Because chewing glass is still more enjoyable than seeing, hearing and smelling these people from the ass crack of dawn until an hour before the ass crack of dawn. I swear the one woman doesn't sleep, she just sits on the front porch hacking and smoking and watching my every move. I didn't even have to set my alarm clock this summer. Her 4 AM hackfest EVERY single day was all the alarm I needed. Of course the screaming baby that no one ever attended to kept me awake until 1 AM. 3 women, 7-10 kids and not a man in sight. Someone needs to close their legs, just putting that out there. Thankfully I don't live right next to them anymore but I am still close enough to have the "experience". I also get to see more clothing on them in the winter which is like a bonus gift free with every purchase. Sign me up for that shit!
Day 6- I am thankful when my napkins, paper towels, dish soap, hand soap and tablecloth all coordinate with my kitchen colors/theme. That's right...I am one sick m@therf@cker. It makes me so insanely happy when this "magic" happens. Sage green and cream colors and any type of herb/botanical pattern makes me go wild! We all have our quirks right? I stopped counting mine a long time ago.
Day 7- I am thankful for dips, dipping sauces and dressings. They are so much fun and very tasty. I must say, I have become a master at the dipping game. You see, I am the type of person that will take a chip and scoop half the bowl of dip on to it. Why? Because eating dip by the spoonful is sometimes frowned upon by other party goers. The chip becomes my "opportunity" if you will. It's a little more socially acceptable. And don't get me started on wings. I'll order a dozen and only eat 3-4 but I need at least two dressings, tons of sauce on my wings and since garlic butter is a fave of mine, lots of that good stuff too.Then I will take a spoon and eat the drippy mess at the bottom of my wing basket and bring most of the wings home for my son. Why wouldn't I? Such a classy lady I am!
Day 8- I am thankful for "quiet" nights at home. I do post a lot on FB so it may appear I don't have a life, but trust me, I do. I just love FB, sharing shit, enjoying my friends' posts and pics and all the other good stuff that goes with FB. However, even this girl enjoys her "quiet" evenings at home. The reason I keep putting quotations around "quiet" is because even if I am the only person in the room, it's not always quiet. I talk to myself....a lot. And by a lot I mean, some of the best conversations I have ever had, have been with myself. They were so awesome, hilarious and profound too. Amazing stuff. I tend to sing ...and rap....really loud. Both of which I really have no business doing but I do it anyway because at one time I could sing and well I could never rap but it's still a fun time. I sometimes put on my heels, get on the tile floor and dance my little heart out. I also tend to get constructive. It is nothing for me to break out a drill or saw at 11:00 at night if the mood suits me. I once went out with my friends, came home at 3:00 AM, made breakfast, then proceeded to paint my downstairs bathroom cuz why wouldn't I? The mood struck me so I did it. I did a good job too. I cook 5 course meals any time of the day. Have no idea who is going to eat them but I make them anyways. And I am not a quiet cook by any means. I laugh all the time. Everything is funny to me. In fact, I am not quiet about any endeavor I take on because I inherited my knack for being clumsy and dropsy from my father. My kids have grown accustomed to this. They zone me out. Anyone I am close to gives me the space I need and nurtures this about me. They let me do my thing. Thankful for that too. Anyways, I really love my "quiet" nights at home. Sometimes it's the best company I could ever ask for. And sometimes...I am actually quiet. That's when the kids check on me to make sure I still have a pulse. Those close to me also get the quiet side and understand that as well. I must say, I am a lucky gal!
Day 9- I am thankful for french fries with cheese and gravy, or as we do in Hazy and only Hazy, french fries with gravy and schmutz. There is nothing more satisfying than a plate full of fried, salted carbs, topped with even more carbs and sodium, then topped with gooey dairy. Eating healthy is wonderful and very good for you but life is also about pleasure and french fries with gravy and schmutz gives me immense pleasure.
Day 10- I am thankful for Ibuprofen. That is all.
Day 11- I am thankful I am not a slacker and have been keeping up with all the things I am thankful for. I am also thankful for sarcasm. I am profoundly gifted in the ways of the smart ass.
Day 12- I am thankful for privacy fencing. There are many things I do related to the outdoors that my neighbors shouldn't know about. For instance, they shouldn't know that I forgot to take out the garbage again or that I have a sick amount of garbage cans. They shouldn't know that I make feeble attempts at what I would call gardening. They shouldn't know that I can spend hours sitting on the back porch staring at nothing or that sometimes I have conversations with myself. They shouldn't know that I have a bizarre fascination with the garden hose and have been know to spray everything within reach, including myself, with said garden hose just because it is fun. There are other things they shouldn't know about but I am going to keep them to myself because most people shouldn't know about them anyways.
Day 13- I am thankful for drinking too much caffeinated coffee even though I have high BP and should not have any caffeine. Yes there will be the shakes, an eventual headache and I will feel like I am burning from the inside out but in three hours I will also do all the laundry in the entire house even if it does not need to be washed, sweep the floors, unload and reload the dishwasher, alphabetize my DVD collection, cook a 7 course meal from scratch, build new outdoor furniture from old pallets, toothpicks and mulch, rake all the leaves in a 7 block radius (your welcome Hazleton), sew an entire wardrobe out of old pillowcases, dental floss and tablecloths, rearrange all the furniture in the house... twice, figure out a few calculus equations, do the entire Sunday NY Times Crossword (in pen), discover a new periodic element, write a thesis on why the Steelers should never wear those striped uniforms again based on the ratio of players that will someday wear prison stripes for real and make time for a two hour nap.
Day 14- I am thankful for fake houseplants. I love house plants. They are beautiful and feng shui and provide fresh oxygen in the house and I love nature but.....I am also the serial killer of house plants. Not intentionally of course. I feel really really bad after I kill one. I do have a few live ones that somehow manage to survive. (Mostly because Lowe's now labels their plants as low, medium and high tolerance plants. In other words they are telling you if you are a habitual neglector of plants, high tolerance is the way to go. Thank you Lowe's.) I even manage to kill cacti. Who they f@ck kills cacti? This girl does that's who. Anyways, I love nature and the outdoors and I try to incorporate it as much into my house as possible so sometimes I have no choice but to get my fix via the fake houseplant. And I have lots of them. They may not give me fresh oxygen but they give me serenity. So....Thank you to the inventor of the fake houseplant. You are my hero.
Day 15- I am thankful when I come upon one of the secret candy stashes I have throughout the house but have long forgotten about. For instance today, when I was putting away a wine glass, I found a Blue Raspberry Airheads taffy in the back of my wine glass cabinet. Score! I owned that bitch in 30 seconds! I kinda feel like I have my own secret Easter Egg hunt thing going on but I have no clue where I put my own eggs. It's pretty fantastic!
Day 16- I am thankful for throw pillows. They just make couches look so much more awesome and beautiful. Seriously, they do. They can make a boring couch become instantly fabulous! You don't have to nor should you commit to a trendy couch pattern because that is way expensive and it can go out of style fast or annoy you after a year or two. Stylish but simple is the way to go with a major expense. But ....you can go balls out with your throw pillows! You get bored with them...get new ones. No big deal. They are way cheaper than buying a new couch. It's all good. In fact, every nite before bed I make sure to arrange my couch pillows back to their places. My ex husband used to laugh because if no one was on the couch and a pillow was out of place, I would have to "fix" it. He wasn't mean about it. He got my OCD. Found it amusing and endearing. And to this day, I still fix all my lovely throw pillows that while not completely matchy matchy (because that is boring and not stylish) coordinate and tie in all the colors of the rooms. I love you throw pillows. You rock my world!
Day 17- I am thankful that I lock myself away when the emotional Olympics begin for the safety of society in general. I can display the full spectrum of every human emotion possible in a time frame of 10-15 minutes. It's quite the spectacle. And as I have gotten older, it has become harder to control. One minute I can be smiling and playing with a lady bug, the next minute I may hear a song that makes me burst into tears and then the next minute, I have a memory of something I feel was an injustice to me and I want to tear the culprits head off and feed it to equally angry sloths. ( Are sloths carnivores? Not sure about that.) There is a lot of honesty in those periods of complete insanity though I must say. Sometimes I have no choice but to leave the fox hole. In those moments I pray my mouth stays shut. (It doesn't.) At least I am aware of the hormonal train wreck I become and try to keep it to myself. (Try being the key word.)
Day 18- I am thankful for Santoku knives. (Kinda ironic I am thankful for these after the previous day's thankfulness. LOL!) Santoku knives are a chef's dream knife. They are simply beautiful and they cut things like nobody's business. I can slice a banana in 5 seconds flat with a Santoku knife. It's fun times. And I love making soup and I love garlic. My Santoku knives make it so much more fun to cut veggies and dice, slice or mince garlic. I have two pretty decent Santoku knives but my dream Sanotku knife would be a 7 in. Wusthof. Spending $100 on a kitchen knife though is just not a luxury I can afford. Maybe one day.
Day 19- I am thankful for the little pocket on the bottom of my blazer door. It's a great place to shove garbage such as straw wrappers, empty cigarette boxes, used tissues and the coil that popped out of my door in a freak car door thing that happened during a snow storm at work which I will not get into other than to say my door whipped open when I was driving it. I went to grab it to close it (while driving) and the inside of the door closed but the outside of the door flew the other way and the spring went flying. Yada, yada, yada. I try to clean it out on garbage nights but sometimes I forget. It happens.
Day 20- I am thankful that my neighbor is a serial sidewalk shoveler who starts his shoveling day at 5:00 AM. It doesn't matter if only 1/36th of an inch of snow is on the sidewalk, he will scrap it off his sidewalk for an hour. Anyways, not only is he like an alarm clock, but it is also an indicator that I may have to seriously clean off my car before attempting my drive to work. And by seriously I mean I need to clear a spot on my windshield the equivalent size of a human head or wake up early enough to turn on the defrost and let my truck run for 20 minutes before attempting my commute to work. It's not that I'm lazy (well maybe a little), I just have a habit of breaking every ice scraper I buy within 2 minutes of using it. I'm obviously doing something wrong when it comes to using an ice scraper. I drive like I have lived in the Northeast my whole life but I do not scrape ice off my car like I've lived in the Northeast my whole life.
Day 21- I am thankful for candles, scented wax, and Febreeze. I may be somewhat of an addict but I will buy every seasonal scented candle in Walmart. I currently have 7 just for the holidays. (Yes I remove the lids and smell each one of those mofos several times before making my decisions. It better smell like what it says it does otherwise I am vocal about it, even if I am the only one in the aisle.) I also have a kitchen drawer filled with Scentsy waxes and votives. And... I have about five bottles of Febreeze stashed throughout my house. I like things that smell nice and I love candlelight. It smells and looks so pretty! I need a new wax warmer though because one of the two Scentsy warmers I have has a short in the plug. I know, I'm such a girl sometimes!
Day 22- I am thankful it is really day 27 and I am sitting here writing these, drinking wine, listening to Use Your Illusion II (Estranged is the best!) and watching Wonderland instead of prepping for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. My kids want to learn how to make Thanksgiving dinner. And they will.....bright and early tomorrow.
Day 23- I am thankful for boxed wine. Yes, I have a fancy stash of wine but they are for "special" occasions. (That and I chug wine. I can't help it. A regular bottle doesn't even make it an hour if I am in "hammertime" mode.) Boxed wine is for when I want to get "Feel Good Inc." on a regular day like Tuesday. And it's cheap too. If I bought the fancy stuff to drink on a regular basis I would go broke and have to live in a shopping cart filled with my empty wine bottles and a scruffy little dog named "Chianti".
Day 24- I am thankful that #isuckathashtagscuzikeephittingthespacebar because #iwritereallylonghashtags and #ihavenoideawhattheirpurposeisreallyandidontcare because #ilovethewrittenword but #onceinawhileiwillwriteasillyhashtagcuzitisfunnybecauseiwritereallylonggoofyhashtags and #itconfusesed.
Day 25- I am thankful for cool garbage items that people put out for the trash like crates, pallets, wooden chairs, old lawn furniture, frames, wicker stuff and whatever catches my eye really. I can fix, build and paint just about anything. I love the challenge and it suits my shabby chic forest/mountains meets beach style. (Cuz my whole life I've lived on top of a mountain surrounded by lots of woodlands but spent many, many summers at the Jersey shore. It's who I am. Although.... today I was told I look nothing like a mountain girl. It was a compliment. I will keep the rest to myself. LOL!) My daughter likes to bust me about this particular hobby. She will be like "Mom...look, there is a really funky chair that wouldn't match anything in our house." or "Look at that huge pile of garbage. You know you want that broken lamp." Whatever. I am way pickier now cuz of bugs but...once in a while I find a real trash to treasure piece. My vegetable crate shelf, my radiator covers, my outdoor furniture, a few picture frames and some art pieces are all garbage finds.
Day 26- I am thankful for yoga pants. They make my ass look hot (the squats aren't hurting either) and they are so damned comfortable. Sometimes I wear them to work even though I am not supposed to. I wear my knee high boots and disguise them as "leggings". I have a lot of leggings too. If worn the right way, anything can look good. Its about style and taking pride in your appearance. I spent a lot of years playing the frump because it caused a lot of tension in a previous long term relationship. No more. I'm rocking what I got. The right man won't be threatened by it and will be proud to have me on his arm, not insecure about it. This may come off as being arrogant and that is not my intention. I am just tired of cowards and little boys who try to put me "in my place". I know my place and it is shining like the star I am. Every woman needs to remember this. Never let a man decide whether or not you are beautiful. That is your right. Anyways, I love yoga pants. They rock. And I need more!
Day 27- I am thankful for microwave popcorn. It makes a great dinner when I am too tired to cook, too broke to order out or bored with leftovers. The kids fend for themselves on these days. They are old enough to cook for themselves, so sometimes, I eat microwave popcorn for dinner and it is great! Sometimes I treat myself to some real melted butter on the popcorn because why wouldn't I ? No dirty dishes either! Bonus check!
Day 28- I am going to get serious here. Over the past month I have witnessed a lot of death. A good friend of mine passed away this weekend from a motorcycle accident. He left behind the love of his life and his adorable sons. One of my best friends lost her father yesterday. He won't get to walk her down the aisle next July for her wedding. Another friend and a sweet, good, loving father lost his 6 year old daughter a few weeks ago to illness and a few close friends of mine lost another very close friend to cancer a few weeks ago. She was in her 30's. I say it all the time. It's one of my mantras. "Life is Short." I am so very thankful for every single day I get above ground. More so now than ever. I am thankful every day to see my children above ground as well. I cannot even imagine losing one of them. I don't want to.
Life is not fair. I am well aware of this. Sometimes we will never know the answers to the questions we have, no matter how many times we ask why. Sometimes horrible things happen to the best people, the people who do not deserve such tragedy. Sometimes karma does not get those who deserve it in the end, good or bad. This is life. And life is unpredictable and it is hard and it will try your very last nerve. It will change you. It will break you. It will knock you down to rock bottom over and over again. It does not matter how good a person you are or aren't. Life is going to happen. Be thankful that it is happening. Fight the good fight and be thankful that no matter how hard or terrible or trying a day you had, that you had the gift of another day. Find the good in each and every day, no matter how small it is. Hell, there are days where the only good thing I can find in them is the very fact that my kids and I are still breathing. But.... as long as we are breathing, that is all I truly need at the end of the day. You never really know when your time is up. Be appreciative that when you wake up every morning you have another opportunity to change your life, enjoy your life and love your life. Make an effort to live the life you want. Make an effort to appreciate the good. Be the one to make another person's day a better day. You are the deciding factor on how you are going to face each day and the challenges it brings. Rise up to them. Open your eyes. Life is too short for anything less.
May you all have a blessed Thanksgiving. I will be spending mine with the loves of my life, Heather and Ricky. One day they will fly away from this nest and I may not get to spend every Thanksgiving with them. However today is not that day. <3.
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| My loves <3 |
Love,
Fess
