 |
| Old Cape Cod |
My ex husband and I had split two and a half months prior. I had just canceled our recently booked family camping trip for the end of the month. I lost the deposit because I had waited to long to cancel. I was out $75.00.
I was sitting at a table in the back room of the restaurant trying to hide my tears. My co worker and a very close friend of mine, Gina, came to check on me. She knew my ordeal and became furious. "What did he do now?" she inquired, although not so politely as I have written. I explained my ex was on me to cancel the camping trip because one of his co workers mentioned our reservation was still listed when they paid off their reservation, so I did.
I lost the money. She began to rattle off a spew of Italian vulgarity where my ex husband was concerned. I had to laugh a little because I had done the same thing several times on the phone to him over the past few months. I felt much better for it too. After fifteen years I guess I had a lot to get off my chest. She tried to console me. I informed her that he was not the reason I was crying. Yes, that year of my life would be an extreme emotional roller coaster.
I felt like my future had vanished right out the door with him because my future was always attached to his. I felt he robbed me of my dreams. I was furious about it. This stung more than anything. The only person I was more angry with than him was myself. I allowed this to happen. I ignored my gut. I ignored my heart. My heart hadn't felt the same way about him for years but in my head I was convinced I had to stay with him for the sake of our children, for the sake of my future. He felt the same way too it turns out.
Anyway, I needed to forgive myself before I could even think of forgiving the other party. And, I tend to hold myself to a tougher standard. I am harder on myself than anyone. This was definitely going to take time, a lot of time. I wasn't even sure what I was feeling. I think it was more fear of being alone again, fear of the unknown, fear of the different and the new that had me more tuned up than the actual split itself. It also excited me somewhat. That is what I tried to channel the most.
As all of this was pouring out of me, Gina was looking at me sternly. I stopped and gave her a quizzical look. She explained that no one had the power to take my future from me. I could still do all the things I wanted to do. She informed me I would find a way to do the things that mattered most to me. And this time I could do it on my own terms. This time, I was not to settle for another man unless he supported my hopes, goals and dreams as much as he did his own. Her words were refreshing. She was absolutely right.
She inquired about the cost. I told her it was $500 per person. She had mentioned she too had always wanted to go to Cape Cod. Her ex husband was a distant cousin of the Kennedys and she was a huge Jackie O fan. She asked if I would be okay with her coming on the trip in his place?
I jumped up from the table and gave her the biggest hug. Of course I would love for her to come on the trip!
It was a win-win situation for both of us. She said we were going to celebrate my "NEW" future! We were both so excited. Over the next few months we slowly saved up the rest of the money for the trip. My head was still all over the place but this little venture of ours played a significant role in the healing process. I just didn't see it then. The wheels were already in motion.
By the beginning of October, Cape Cod was all we talked about. We were leaving October 9, 2006, which was Columbus Day, via Motor Transportation. It was a bus tour. It was a lot like "Gay and Away", Francis Mayes' bus tour of Italy after her divorce in "Under the Tuscan Sun." And just like Francis Mayes, who was on a gay tour of Tuscany and felt a little odd since she was the only one on the tour who wasn't gay, I had a similar but somewhat different experience.
 |
| Autumn in New England |
I became the adopted granddaughter of the group. The elders watched out for me like one of their own. They enjoyed my "youthful" company as much as I enjoyed theirs. As for Gina, I would travel anywhere with her. We didn't feel we needed to "entertain" each other. I would go off and do my own thing and she, hers. She was a perfect traveling companion. We enjoyed the trip very much.
And let me tell you, it was a fast paced trip. We covered a lot of ground in four days. We visited Hyannis, Carver, Plymouth, Martha's Vineyard and Yarmouth, Massachusettes. I will be writing about Martha's Vineyard and Plymouth in separate blogs. For this blog I am focusing specifically on Cape Cod.
 |
| Walter M.Gaffney Map of Cape Cod |
I personally loved it because I got to see so much. I made mental notes of my favorite places for future vacations. Vacations where I could spend more time relaxing and exploring. In fact, this tour spawned a day trip to the Cape and Martha's Vineyard the following year with my family while we were up North for my cousin's wedding.
Back to the bus tour though. The ride to Cape Cod, MA from Hazleton, PA was a little over seven hours because we made several stops and hit some traffic. As the bus pulled into our hotel in Hyannis, we were greeted by the hotel's owner Arthur. Arthur had a wine and cheese reception waiting for us upon entry into the hotel. I could live on wine, cheese, grapes, some crackers, a little mustard and a nice variety of olives.
Seriously, I could. Ask my co workers about the mini buffets I bring to work. I love sharing too. The only thing missing is the wine and that is because I have yet to convince my bosses that it is a "Great" idea. I haven't given up though. I mention it often. I would share with them too. I tell the big guy that all the time.
My friend Gina, 17 years my senior, is single. I elbowed her and nodded towards Arthur. He was so much her type. She blushed and giggled like a school girl. She is a tough one though, even tougher to crack than me. She was also burned worse than me. She still won't let anyone in. I at least let someone in once in awhile. Usually an asshole. but at least I was making an effort.
 |
| The International Inn, Hyannis MA |
Later that night at dinner, we had the best home cooked meal of the trip. I enjoyed the Chicken Florentine immensely. I have even modeled my Florentine recipe from Arthur's. He cooked the entire meal, including real homemade mashed potatoes. I would highly recommend his place for anyone looking to stay in Cape Cod.
After dinner we spent some time walking around downtown Hyannis. Most of the shops and restaurants were already closed for the season. The ones that were open had limited hours. Neither Gina nor I minded though. It was better just to window shop since neither of us had much money. We were going to visit the Christmas Tree Shoppe tomorrow and a friend/co-worker of ours that grew up on the Cape said the store was completely awesome and very reasonably priced. We were saving our money for that.
There were many cute little shops along Main Street though. We even spotted a colorful little carousel but it too, was closed for the season. I could picture both of my kids riding on the carousel. Hell, I could picture myself riding it right along with them. I would love to bring them here one day.
 |
| The Carousel on Main Street in Hyannis, MA |
We were told to eat up because it could be as long as 8 hours until we stopped for lunch. I obeyed these orders by filling my plate with much breakfast goodness. I topped it off by pouring myself a glass of fresh squeezed sunshine. The elders found my enthusiasm for breakfast entertaining. (I may have been talking aloud to myself about what tasty breakfast foods I was selecting as I moved along the buffet as well as the reason why I was choosing them. Don't ask. It's just something I do, a lot. Can you believe I never had an imaginary friend as a child? Go figure. )
When we boarded the bus to go exploring Cape Cod, we met our tour guide Bill. Awww, my dad is named Bill. "Should I call him dad too?" I thought. I opted not to. Didn't want to make him feel weird or anything. Our first stop was the St. Francis Xavier Church aka the "Kennedy" church.
Joe and Rose Kennedy worshiped at this church. The Kennedy boys served as altar boys for this church. JFK and Jackie were married in this church. This church was the site of many Kennedy marriages and memorial services. But, there is something even more profound about this church. The heartfelt tale of the altar and the symbolism behind it is the main attraction, for lack of better words.
 |
| The altar at St. Francis Xavier Church |
The Kennedy's had two portraits painted on either side of the altar. When facing the altar, the portrait on the left is that of St. George of England. On the right is a portrait of Joan of Arc of France. In between and above the two portraits is a pair of golden wings. The wings represent Joseph Jr., an aviator, "resting somewhere between England and France."
Rose took the loss of her son particularly hard. The pain of losing a child is something I hope I never have to experience. I could not even fathom what that could possibly feel like and I don't want to. My heart aches for all mothers who have had to endure such a loss. It is never fair.
I have become very serious and sad while writing this. I think now I will try to segway to a more humorous story. It is a story about a tour guide and a nun that explicitly told everyone visiting the church not to step on the altar for any reason. It was sacred. Guess who stepped on the altar to take a picture when she thought no one was looking? Guess who got scolded by a nun for five minutes about her disobedience?
I swear I was waiting for her to pull out a ruler and crack my knuckles twenty times for not listening to her orders. The elders found this quite funny. One elder couple secretly told me they also stepped up to the altar to take a pic but they didn't get caught. They said with age and experience I will get better at breaking a few rules. I found this completely awesome.
.jpg "JFK Jr. Portrait") |
| JFK Jr. Portrait inside the JFK Museum Barnstable |
It was yet another reminder of the tragedy the Kennedy family has endured throughout the years. I always liked JFK Jr. He was the class act rebel sort. He adored his mother which I found so sweet. There was a hint of vulnerability and insecurity hidden in his demeanor. He did not recognize his greatness.
Part of him must have wondered if he was disappointing his father by not following exactly in his footsteps. I do not think his father would have been disappointed at all.
If anything, I think his father would have envied him a little. I just found JFK Jr. to be so cool. It didn't hurt that he was easy on the eyes too. He favored his mother more than his father but you could see both of them in him. It is a shame we lost him at such a young age, just like his father.
 |
| JFK Museum Barnstable, Hyannis, MA |
One of the coolest things I saw in the museum were vintage campaign posters and buttons. There was a timeline of the Kennedy history on one of the walls as well as many photos of JFK during his presidential campaign and presidency. One of the things I loved most about JFK was that he visited Hazleton during his campaign. Of course I was not born yet but my father told me about it. JFK gave a speech on the corner of Church and Broad Street by the former Altamont Building. He also took the time to meet and greet some of the people of Hazleton after his speech. Very cool.
I could be wrong but the only other president I can recall visiting our city was George W. Bush. He visited several times. He also noticed the potholes littering our streets. He busted our Mayor's ass about it. Where George W. was concerned, there were things about him I did really like, but there were other things about him in which I completely disagreed. But, that is not for this blog.
From the museum we headed over to Veteran's Memorial Park. The memorial was overlooking the harbor leading into Nantucket Sound. Sailboats dotted the harbor, anchored, waiting for their respective owners to take them for a sail along the sound. We were definitely in sailing country.
Boats big and small were everywhere you turned. They were floating in the water. They were hitched to vehicles, driving to a destination where they would surely get their feet wet. They were perched in driveways, hitched to piers, spilling from launches into the many harbors surrounding the cape. Rhode Island may be the sailing capitol of the country but Massachusetts was definitely a close second.
 |
| Boats drifting in the harbor. |
 |
| Boats, boats and more boats! |
From the Memorial Park we made our way towards the historic Village of Sandwich. I kept laughing over the name. Before exiting Hyannis to make our way to Sangwich, we passed the area where the Kennedy Compound was located. Tour buses were not permitted within two blocks of the compound. I was not disappointed we didn't get to see the compound. I understood these people had lives too. I wouldn't want tourists gawking at me all day long either. Bill mentions that there are 16 houses on the compound but only three are owned by the Kennedy family. Wonder who owns the other 13?
I did notice the Cape was all forest and beach. If you were not surrounded by trees, you were surrounded by sand and salt water. It was truly the best of both worlds. At the moment the trees were aflame with the burning colors of the season. There were little parks everywhere you look. The homes were so....Cape Cod?
Our tour guide Bill pointed out the traditional Cape Cod houses as we traveled to Sandwich. Cape Cod houses were cottage style houses with traditional unpainted cedar or clapboard shingles. The sea salt is what weathered the shingles, causing the wood to take on a greyish color. He pointed out houses where shingles had been repaired. The shingles were a brown/beige color that stood out from the weathered grey shingles covering the rest of the home. He said people were reluctant to repair shingles because it took years for the weathering to take effect.
 |
| Quintessential Cape Cod Home |
The simplicity of the Cape Cod cottage design was to protect the homes from the harsh New England weather. Bill mentioned that while most homeowners strive to keep their houses looking new and neat, Cape Cod home owners wanted their houses to appear shabby and weathered. The more weathered, the better. Even fencing was not repaired when it became weathered, broken and slanted from the strong gusts of wind. It added to the New England charm.
I must say, I have always loved Cape Cod homes. One day I would love to own a Cape Cod style cottage complete with weathered cedar shingles. I can totally live with shabby chic!
After Plymouth, we were set to visit a cranberry farm. In order to get from the Cape to Plymouth and the Cranberry Farm, we needed to cross the Cape Cod Canal. The canal connects Buzzard's Bay to Cape Cod Bay, making Cape Cod an island technically. In fact, the only way on or off the Cape is via three bridges and one was designed for rail cars only.
We crossed the Sagamore Bridge over the Cape Cod Canal to exit the Cape. The Sagamore Bridge has a twin named the Bourne Bridge. (No it was not named for Jason Bourne.) We crossed the Bourne Bridge on our way back from the cranberry farm. From the Bourne Bridge our tour guide Bill pointed out what I think is one of the coolest bridges I have ever seen.
It was the Cape Cod Canal Railroad Bridge. It is a vertical lift bridge. It is also the longest vertical lift span bridge in the world. The bridge remains lifted for the passage of boats. It is only lowered for oncoming trains. Unfortunately, we did not get to see it in operation. That bummed me out a little. Crossing bridges does make me somewhat nervous but I also find them fascinating so I deal with my nerves.
 |
| Cape Cod Canal Railroad Bridge..one of the coolest bridges ever! |
 |
| Crossing the Bourne Bridge |
 |
| Sagamore Bridge I "borrowed" this pic because I cannot find mine. |
Back to the journey.
After spending some time at the cranberry bog we headed to the Christmas Tree Shoppe. I wasn't sure what to expect, although as mentioned above, our friend Carolyn had said it was a great store that wasn't all Christmas stuff. Let's just say, Gina and myself committed murder in this store. We were besides ourselves. For $50, I got a lot of stuff that I told myself I really needed like drapes, sheers, a chenille throw and a bunch of other "necessities".
Gina and I had so much stuff they actually had to make room under the bus for all of our purchases. The elders said I reminded them of a teen age girl shopping til she dropped at the mall. I found this very amusing because I mostly dislike shopping. ( I hate it. Thank god for the interwebz and online shopping!)
After our shopping spree at the Christmas Tree Shoppe we traveled to West Yarmouth. (Pronounced yaw-muth by the locals. I made them say all kinds of stuff for the accent vault.). We were having our genuine New England lobster dinner at the Lobster Boat Restaurant. I was soooooo excited for this moment. I love, love, love lobster. I may sometimes sing songs about how much I love lobster while eating my lobster. It has been known to happen. I do not get to eat it often because it is way expensive but that is okay. It just makes it all the more a treat when I do get to have it.
The whole bus shufflesd into the restaurant shaped like a boat, hence the name The Lobster Boat. (I figured this one out all by myself people!) As we were seated, I noticed our place mats had instructions on how to eat a whole lobster. What the F????
I looked at Gina nervously. I informed her that I was going to ruin my lobster. She was confused by my statement. She inquired as to how I would manage to ruin my lobster. I explained to her that I butcher things. I cannot carve a turkey to save my life.
I must have hit her with a can of stupid because she stared at me blankly. Her reply, "Well it's a good thing we are not eating whole turkeys." She went back to chatting with some of our travel mates. I glanced around and noticed some of the elders seemed a little nervous as well. I understood their anxiety completely. This whole lobster thing was intimidating.
I was going to suck at trying to get the delicious meat out of them. I would be robbed of dipping the sweet white meat into hot melted buttery goodness. I could accidentally eat the lobster guts too. Gross! The possibilities of failure were endless.
Our waiters came over with salad and rolls. They placed the salad on top of my place mat. OMG!! "What are you doing buddy?" I thought, horrified. That place mat was my lifeline. For the first time since I could remember, I was actually going to read and follow the directions for something. My waiter had no idea how epic this moment was. I could not muck up the instructions with oily salad dressing.
I picked up my plate and removed my place mat from the table. I folded it neatly into fours and slipped it under my leg for future use. The waiter looked at me curiously then moved along to the others. I also tied my plastic lobster bid with the giant red lobster on it around my neck. Gina laughed.
"Are you afraid you are going to get some salad on you?" she smirked. I informed her I was just preparing. I then proceeded to drop salad on me. If you have ever seen me eat, this would not at all have been shocking or unexpected. I have never been a graceful diner. I should wear a bib every time I eat. I know this. Gina smirked at me again.
 |
| Our nifty placemats. I actually followed these directions. |
 |
| An exact copy of my super hawt and sexy lobster bib. Don't be a hater! |
The lobster platters started flowing from the kitchen and placed in front of us. I was one of the first ones served. I pulled my instructions out and began following the directions. Turns out, I was not so bad at this after all. My hands were covered in lobster juice and a few shards of lobster shell but there was no butchering of the lobster and definitely no gut ingestion. In fact, I was so good at it that some of the elders admiring my work asked me to come over and guide them through the process as well.
I was more than happy to oblige. I felt like I was teaching a class on the proper way to crack a lobster. I actually stood in the middle of the dining room (wearing my sexy bib) and went over the instructions with everyone. Ten minutes after all the lobsters were served, everyone was happily munching on their lobsters, myself included. It was the perfect end to a fun filled, whirlwind day.
Needless to say, by the time we got back to the hotel it was close to midnight. Gina and I were exhausted. I took a shower, then passed out like a rock. On tap for the next day was Martha's Vineyard, which would also be an exciting day. I write about that experience HERE.
We were even more exhausted after spending the day on the island. It was also my favorite part of the trip. By Wednesday, it was time to head back to Pennsylvania. We woke early, had another enormous breakfast courtesy of Arthur and his incredible staff, then took one more stroll through downtown Hyannis.
I didn't want to leave this place. I felt akin to the Cape. Everything around me was new, untainted by memories or emotion. I had felt so free, like this huge weight had been lifted off of me during my brief visit. There was no negative energy in the air. I was far enough removed from the tumultuous roller coaster that for the first time since March, I felt some real healing occurring inside my soul.
While on Martha's Vineyard, I realized I was going to survive this just fine. I was stronger that I realized. I wanted to send for my kids and never return to that PA. I wanted to start over somewhere new. In fact, upon returning home, I had mentioned to my kids that I would like to move out of state.
I could not afford to live on the Cape but I could afford to live further South. While both kids were receptive to it, they were also torn about leaving their friends. Being the parent, in hindsight, I should have promoted moving more instead of using the kids as a crutch for remaining in Pennsylvania. In hindsight, I do have regrets about not taking that chance.
I believe that while many things have turned out good here, I know things would have been better had we all removed ourselves from our comfort zone. We would have been forced to thrive more. I would have dealt with some of the things I am still currently dealing with years ago. It would have long since been water under the bridge. I allowed fear to paralyze me. I allowed fear to hold me back. I held myself back.
"If I knew then what I know now." as the saying goes.
The other thing I took away from my jaunt to Cape Cod was this. Life does go on. And sometimes you find yourself feeling more happy about it than sad. And..... that is okay.
Chrissy
LINKS TO PLACES I VISITED ON CAPE COD
