A Free Spirit's Bucket List: Life is Short And Other Sage Words

So, I haven't written in a long time and I really do need to finish my Steelers Game Day blog but.... that won't happen today. It probably won't happen tomorrow either. It will happen though.....one day.

I guess I am writing because I needed to ramble. You see, I was sitting in my cabana pool after eating some delicious pancakes and it dawned on me that my head was the only thing doing any actual swimming. Understandably it is a kiddie pool so there isn't much swimming going down in there anyways. It's only like 2 feet. I think. Didn't really read the box. I have no idea. All I saw on the box was a lady sitting in the pool with a few kids and thought...I can fit in there. Seems legit.

Why do I have a kiddie pool you wonder? Well, I had this crazy fantasy of having a refreshing, aqueous place to park my ass with a cocktail and a smoke for 15-20 minutes on sweltering days. I don't have much $$$ though. Then I remembered a quote by a very wise man whom was also the 26th president of the USA.

Thanx Teddy! Good words!

So I spent the $20.00 price tag to make my wish come true. Now I'm living La Dolce Vita. And that my friends, is a true story.

And.......I am digressing. Shocker.
Trying not to be too wordy. I know, I made a funny. I crack myself up. I crack a lot of people up.

Page break.

Back to the swimming head....
So, my head was swimming. My heads swims a lot. No pool required there. Tonite's swimming thoughts happened to be of the forlorn, grieved and pensive nature. Let's face it, life can be so very sad. So very painful. And, each and every one of us has had a dose of this thing we call pain and sadness at least a few times in our lives. Some of us get bigger doses than others. Some of us are given way more doses than others. Is it fair? No. But life is not fair. I know that for real.

I hate the word panties. Let's try to make underwear sound more sexy..... Let's call them panties. If I am wearing underwear it is because I have to. Commando is sexy!

However, right now, for this blog, the amount and size of each individual's doses are neither here nor there. Not going to get into that right now. Trust me I can....but I won't.

What I want to get into is some phrases oft used in today's society.

1. Life Goes On

Yes, if you are alive, life goes on. That is the literal translation of this phrase. Not too hard to figure that one out.
But, to each individual, this simple phrase can stir different emotions. Some people say this as a sort of subconscious reassurance when they are feeling troubled. It's completely off the cuff so to speak. Some people speak this phrase when they cannot put into words what they really want to say. Eloquence is not a gift bestowed upon everyone. It's all good.

Some people say this because they are trying to be polite but really do not care about your troubles never mind the fact that they certainly do not want to hear about them. Sad, but honest. And...Some people say this to remind themselves that tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to get things right.

Life goes on for all of that are living and breathing. Life does not care how painful it is that it is "going on"even though you are grief stricken or depressed or forever changed. Life goes on... but never the same as it did today. And especially, not for those whose lives are forever altered by tragedy. How do you cope with this on going life? Is there really a right answer? I do not know.

All I know is.... it goes on.

I had to use this one because obviously someone from Hazleton made this graphic.

But it is also...... #2 quote.

2. Life Is Short.

Yes, since the dawn of time, the lifespan of the average human is just a spec on the chart of the universe. There are many sea creatures and some birds that live even longer than man. Man is not forever. And with today's society, I do not think I am wrong to say us humans are probably going to make ourselves extinct by our own doing long before any meteor or other act of nature can.We are too intelligent, too emotional, too arrogant, for our own good I guess. Power, greed, apathy.....not exactly our finest qualities but sometimes our most prominent qualities. Just being honest....again.

What do you want to do with this short life? Some days I know....other days I do not. Again, I have no answers other than the fact that I, along with most others are well aware....it is short and can be taken from us at any given moment.

Little things and living for the moment.

Where am I going with this? Why am I taking you all on the ride with me as I try to make sense of my thoughts? I don't know really. I am trying really hard to censor myself right now. God forbid we offend anybody. I used the word God and I used the word offended so I am sure I have already offended someone. If that hasn't offended someone, my keen wit, abrasive sarcasm and awesome cleverness just may.

I know I offend people because I am always losing friends on FB. I cry a little...not!

With age I have learned to pick and choose my battles but this is totally true!

Or perhaps....the fact that I am a Virgo and about to make a list will be offensive to some. I mean, according to astrology us Virgos are analytical, cold, perfectionists with no feelings and a penchant for order and criticism. Shove a piece of coal up our ass and you will surely find a diamond. That's how Virgos roll. We are so anal retentive we turn shit into shimmer. So I am told anyways. Tell that to the pile of neglected laundry in my bedroom or the weeds growing in my "perfect" yard.

The clothes and weeds have no idea I am a Virgo...trust me. They think I am a Leo. LOL!

and anal retentive. Punctual?? Tell that to my bosses at work. LOL!

Now I am going to offend everyone including myself. :)

The point is...

This Virgo disguised as a Leo knows life goes on even when she feels like she can't make it through the day. She knows life is short because she has experienced many deaths of many types in her lifetime. She knows for some, today will be their last day. She knows that for some, life will go on but will be forever changed, in a heartbreaking way. She understands pain, devastation, heart break and disappointment. Some of it...her own doing. She knows "one day" may never come. She also knows being in this mindset for too long an extended period of time is detrimental to her health.

So...she made a list. Maybe everyone should make a list. And they should name their list. And if they can think of a name for her list....that would be great too. And if they can make sense of what she is saying....well then they are her peeps!

This is some of the stuff I have found myself doing the past two years...just cuz.

I love my peeps!

My "Simple" List (There is always room to add more to any list!)

1. Dress up...or down...or fun!
Do not wait for a special occasion to wear that beautiful dress you love. Wear it now. Go out for a night on the town in your dress. Hell, play with some make up or do your hair. Who cares. Do it! Hell at this point in my life I will go sit in a bar with a ball gown on. Screw it.

My friends and I do love to get dressed up and go places. Even if it is just the casino or the outdoor deck of a restaurant, we do it. Why wait?

This one would be awesome for the wintertime!

2. Have a party!
Throw parties you have always wanted to, for no reason. Or for your birthday. Who cares? It's fun times! I love being surrounded by my friends and family celebrating life. I love themes and I love being creative with my small budget. You would be surprised what you can do with what little you have.

All I know is, we always have a good time!

This may be true. Maybe.....

3. Invite someone over for dinner
Who cares if it is Tuesday? Make that recipe you have been dying to try and feed someone. They will appreciate it! Not everything needs to be saved for the weekend. There is plenty of life to be lived Monday through Thursday.

Party on Garth!

OMG this is so much my dad. He is an amazing cook but it's not a meal by Bill unless the smoke alarm goes off.

4. Just Eat It!

I am not saying gorge yourself but let's face it, the amount of energy you dispense fighting the craving to eat that donut or two is energy you can spend being happy and burning calories because you ate the donut and are now focusing your energy on better, more productive things.

I ate half a pizza at work on Friday. It was tasty and made me smile. I went home later and burned it off doing stuff around my house. I will always be a curvy girl with a muffin top and big thighs. I will never look acceptable in a bikini. I am tired of fighting it to impress people. I got treated the same way at my thinnest as I did my biggest. I am all about being healthy but at a level that is attainable and realistic for me. This is me. I like donuts, pizza and margaritas. Deal with it!

Some days yes...other days no. It's about balance.

5. Just drink it!

Yes alcohol can slowly kill you. Or quickly kill you if you are just dumb and don't listen to the warning signs your body is giving you. That is your call. But...my theory is, if you are not going to work and you want to have a Bloody Mary or a Long Island Ice Tea or some Pabst Blue Ribbon at 8 in the morning to start your day...do it. Be smart of course but why not? We all sin differently. We all have our vices. Anyone that judges you is probably sitting in a corner eating a box of tastycakes or snorting a line or sleeping with their married neighbor or overspending with their credit cards etc. No one is perfect. Some just like to pretend they are. That is their problem, not yours. :)

Absolutely Fabulous!!!

6. Take chances

This is pretty self explanatory. Just put yourself out there. If may work in your favor, it may not. But it's better to know than not. It may give you much happiness or much sadness, but torturing yourself with what is inside inside your head is worse than any sadness I have ever felt. So...Throw it out into the universe and see what happens. If the door opens, good for you. If it doesn't open, mourn, fall to pieces, then get back up, glue yourself back together and try opening another door. Besides, scars are sexy!

Try.

7. Take the road less traveled.

Even if it is just driving on a road you always pass, but never go on, get out there and explore. You never know what you may see. I have lived in this area my whole life and there are still many roads I have yet to drive. It's a perfect way to clear your head after a long work day or to hide from stress for a little while. I sometimes pick wildflowers. I also sometimes get attacked by bugs. That's no fun. But I have also discovered small businesses, farm stands, restaurants and great scenic views in my local travels. That is good times right there!

Less traveled is a fun time!

8. Enjoy your hobbies, no matter how silly they may seem.

I like reading tarot cards. I like watching animals. I like trying to grow stuff. I like playing around with make up. I love pinterest. I love watching crime shows. I like looking at funny pictures and laughing my ass off. I like taking pictures. I like looking at other people's pictures. I like to write. I like to cook challenging things. I like being alone sometimes. I like going out sometimes.

I like to build things and paint. DIY projects are fun for me. Some turn out good, some not so much. It's okay. I like reading the NFL Meme FB page and looking at all the funny picture comments on the threads. I enjoy and appreciate good sarcasm. I love looking at all the different spices and oils and mixes and sauces in specialty food stores. I love wooden spoons and wicker baskets.

There are so many things I like that are not necessarily profound but are nonetheless enriching to me.

Sure I love books and art and documentaries and deep movies and gourmet meals and expensive alcohol. But I also love the X-men comic books and cheap scotch and smut and frozen Hungry man dinners. I will enjoy the occasional corndog with my $30 bottle of scotch or I will eat a rib eye with my 9.99 for a gallon, Chi Chi's premixed margarita beverage. I will wear my pretty dress to a bar. I will wear yoga pants to a nice restaurant. I have learned to just go with it.

I am the classiest redneck you will ever meet! And I am okay with that.

To me...I am the most interesting woman on the planet. LOL

Aging isn't always a bad thing.

9. Don't let your budget necessarily hold you back.

Want a pool but can't afford one? Blow one up. Sure you wont be able to do laps and it won't be heated but it will still cool your jets on a hot day. Want an outdoor fireplace but don't have the $$$ to build one? Get some rocks, dig a hole and make a fire pit. Hell, my charcoal grill is my fire pit. Just throw a duraflame log in that puppy and instant fire pit! Want to go to the beach but don't have the time or money, go to a local beach during off hours. Less crowds, more peace. Or if you really want to smell and taste the salt in the air, take a bus trip to the beach for a day.

My oasis!

Want to have dinners or parties with friends and family but can't afford to throw one? Do a potluck and BYOB party. Most people are more than happy to cook a recipe they have been dying to try to share with others. If you are like me and are particular about what you drink, you are going to bring your own drink anyways. Trust me, the average person enjoys gatherings as much as you do and would love to participate in one. It saves everyone money, it encourages social bonding and shenanigans, and it is just nice to get out of the house sometimes and be in someone else's home rather than always being in a bar or restaurant.

Want a home sauna? Go sit in your car for a few minutes on a hot day. You are gonna get the sauna effect whether you like it or not. Open the windows of course. Want to go to an event but can't afford the "good" seats? Just buy the cheap seat. You are still going to have a great time! Want a big fancy house but cannot afford the upkeep and utilities? You can do many of the same decorating tricks as they do in the big houses for a fraction of the price. Big homes are beautiful but bottom line, it's not the size of the home, it's what is inside that matters. I've been in big homes with no taste or personality and I have been in little homes that are absolutely beautiful and full of life.

Pure Genius!!

I've seen too many people, myself included, lose everything because they did not plan for divorces and lay offs and it was too easy to pull out the plastic. When the bill came in you would just pay the minimum amount due because you wanted to spend your money on more stuff you really didn't need but wanted. It is a vicious, painful, addicting cycle if you are not careful. Divorces do happen. People do walk away. Layoffs and downsizing are a reality. Sick and special needs children and family members are going to touch your life in one way or another. Our government is not reliable. We our all on our own in this world.

Your parents are not ATMs. Your parents are not going to be around forever to bail you out. They shouldn't have to. Do not live beyond your means. Do not live at your means. Live a little below that. That was some of the best and most real advice my father gave me. He learned this because he too lost everything. Then he watched me go through the same thing. It's not a fun time. Trust me. And I am sure many of you know exactly what I am talking about. How many of us have been left holding the bag of a broken life?

But...that does not mean you should only work to pay bills and save money. What kind of life is that? You can still get the same or similar effects of some of your dreams at a fraction of the cost. Sure, it may not ascetically match the picture in your head, but until you can make those big dreams a reality and maintain them, which in all honesty may never happen, you can at least live the dream on a smaller scale and within your means. It's a lot of fun too.

10. Do not sit on the fence too long

We all find ourselves sitting on the fence once and awhile. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Right? So much to ponder. So much to overthink. So much time passing us by. If I go this way, I think this will happen. If I go that way, then this may happen. What I have come to find in life is that the absolute best thing you can do for yourself is to get your ass off that fence as soon as possible. Yes, some things require more thought than others but how much more? Really? Chronic overthinking is one of the most unhealthy things we can do to ourselves. Trust me. I know this from experience.

This is so very true.

Life will pass us by while we spend our eternities sitting on the fences of our options. I wasted much time on the fence. And guess what...some of the split decisions I have made were the best decisions I have ever made and some of the most thought out decisions I have made have been the worst decisions I have ever made.

No matter how much you think something over, it is probably not going to turn out exactly how you pictured. Sometimes not even close. Yes, give it some thought, but then act because which ever way you go, it is going to bring changes in your life. Roll with the punches, hit life with a TKO or sit slumped in the corner of the ring waiting for someone to call the fight for you. The choice is yours.