A Free Spirit's Bucket List: #1 Attend A Pittsburgh Steelers Game Part VIII: Pre-Gaming It

"This means everything. This is what you dream of." - Jerome Bettis

#36 The Bus...and a good human being.

As Becks and I ride the escalators up to our seats (and trust me, there were many), I feel butterflies in my stomach. The boys will be on the field soon. Troy, Ben, Brett, Antonio, Heath, Maurkice, Will, Allen, LeVeon, Lawrence, Ryan, Shawn, I cannot wait to see what a Steelers NFL game is all about.

As we walk through the hall into the open air of section 526, I gasp as I look down onto the field. It is the coolest thing I have ever seen. You can see everything from here. Fabulous! I smile to myself as I turn and look up to where our seats are. I stop smiling immediately.

Wow.

Look at all those steps. I have never seen so many steps. There has to be a million. In fact, I could probably climb the Great Pyramids of Giza before I would reach my seats here in Heinz Field. Hell, I could probably walk to Egypt, climb the Pyramids, sail down the Nile, find the Holy Grail, dig out the alien spaceship hidden under the Sphinx, write some shit on papyrus paper, then walk back to Pittsburgh in the time it is gonna take me to reach my seats in Heinz Field.

I suddenly stop mid thought as this awful sense of dread washes over me. Oh no. A cold sweat starts rushing over me. You see, it is a known fact that sometimes I do not do well on stairs. I mean, it's not like I fall down them all the time but.... I have been know to trip on them, often. I hope to god I don't trip going up or down these stairs. That would totally suck.

Steeler Championship Flags

Yep......that sure would suck.

Good news. I made it up six steps before I tripped and spilled my beer on the poor guy in row H. It sucked. It seemed to go down in slow motion. The F Bomb slowly left my lips as I tried to regain my balance all while witnessing some of my beer flying out of my cup and splashing onto this guy's forearm and shorts. I stood there in shock for a moment thinking "Did that really just happen? Come on?"

Then all of a sudden the fast forward button was pushed. I started apologizing profusely and rambling about god knows what to this guy while smearing the beer on his arm with my hand in a feeble attempt to clean it off of him. The whole time I am screaming to myself "What the fuck are you doing?? Run away!! Go!! Now!!" He was just looking at me strangely. His girl, however, was not amused at all with my rubbing beer all over her man's arm. I sensed this mostly because she was giving me some serious stink eye.

I decide running is not a bad idea and haul ass up the rest of the stairs while bitching to myself that I need to lay off the cigarettes if I am going to purchase seats in outer space.

Once we figure out what part of the bleachers are butts belong on, I collapse on the bench. I am a roasting ball of clumsiness, nerves and panting. I have resigned myself to the fact that the word "dainty" and my name will never be used in the same sentence. It's all good. I need a moment to take this all in. I notice Becky is already making friends. A wedding party of Steelers fans has arrived in the seats around us. The Steelers couple was married the day before, and their wedding party and family decided it would be proper and fun to catch a game to close out the wedding weekend! I concurred. It was a fantastic way to celebrate their union!

Section 526 Heinz Field

As Becky is chatting with the mother of the bride and her husband, a Jets fan disguised as a Steelers fan, I start people watching. I crane my neck around to take in all the Steeler fashion. I turn around, gasp, and quickly turn back to the field. I am giggling profusely. There is a Cleveland Browns fan behind me dressed as a dog. I glance back slowly over my shoulder to get another look at him. I am thrilled! I see people dressed up in paint and costumes for games on TV but this is FOR REAL!!!

The Browns fan.

He notices me smirking at him from over my shoulder and nods. I quickly turn back around. The stadium is starting to fill. I am beaming as I admire all of the Steelers fashion around me. It is like a glorious sea of black and ......wait....what the f_ _ _??? Are you fucking kidding me? My eyes narrow as I peer at this spectacle of a man walking up the steps wearing .......an RGIII jersey?? Why..... would you...ever wear that? Ever?

Why would you.......OH MY GOD!! My jaw is all agape with shock and dumbfoundedness as my eyes take in the dude walking behind the RGIII fan.

He is wearing a Titans jersey. Are You Serious??? Why would you do that on purpose?

I realize the dude in the Titans jersey is with the RGIII guy. Well, of course, he is. That would make sense. I can feel my face twisting into an unintentional grimace. What is going on here? Do they realize they are at a Steelers/Browns game? I didn't think my face could twist and grimace anymore than it already was but oh....I was wrong. So very wrong. The dude in the Titans jersey turns on the stairs to talk to the one guy in the group that actually has some taste (A Steelers fan). That is when I notice the player on the jersey.

Cortland Finnegan?? Are you fucking serious? The TOOL retired from football because no one wanted his TOOL ass to play for them anymore!! Did they seriously make and sell this asshole's jersey? Obviously they made one cuz this winner is wearing it in MY football stadium!!! (I secretly own Heinz Field but I really don't like to talk about it because everyone would want tickets from me and there would be too much drama....etc. Better to keep it low key and sit in Egypt so no one finds out.) I shake my head in disgust. What a disgrace.

I wish I would have spilled my beer on these guys. Why couldn't it have went down like that? Missed opportunities. Sighs! I decide to take some pictures to distract myself from the whole RGIII/Cortland Finnegan drama that is going on in my head. I cannot take it. I am still muttering under my breath. Travesty.

I am sweating bullets. This jersey is coming off soon. My beer is warm now. I should have bought a water. Dammit. I am gonna have to go down those steps to get a drink. But not now. I sip at my warm beer. Still has better taste than an RGIII or a Cortland Finnegan jersey.

I notice people walking onto the field. They begin rolling out a terrible towel. It is huge! Maybe skydivers will land on the towel. A Drum corp comes out. They begin playing. They are amazing. I take a video of it to show my dad since he is a drummer. I am shaking. The players are getting ready to come out. I am trying to video them but my hands are sweating and trembling. I press pause instead of record.

The biggest Terrible Towel ever!

Becky notices I am trembling and trying to keep it together. She offers to take the video of Troy coming out of the tunnel so I can cheer for him. The tears are for real. I hand her my phone. Of course, I had it set to pause at the wrong time so the video did not come out. I really need to sit down one day and really figure out this phone I tell myself later as I watch my videos.

I am not sure how it is with other teams but in Pittsburgh, the top Defensive players are the last ones out of the tunnel. At least for this game. And Troy is the honored player. The last one out of the tunnel! He is such a good human being.

I don't think I have ever screamed so loud in my life. I almost start choking from screaming. The Pittsburgh Steelers are on the field. I can see them. They are here and so am I! This is surreal! How can this be?

Coming out of the tunnel....the Pittsburgh Steelers!!

I become a multi tasking maniac. I am snapping pictures with my phone and my camera. I am waving my towel and yelling and people watching and taking in the energy in the stadium. I am dizzy with happiness! I also realize how bad I suck at multitasking because I keep dropping everything. It's all good.

Oh yeah...the Browns are on the field too. I guess we need them to have a football game huh? And what a game it turns out to be. But that is for the next blog.