#13 Grow My Hair Long

When I was little, my mother used to chop off all my hair. She said I looked like a Dutch boy with long hair. What she didn't realize was that by chopping off my hair, I actually did look like a boy. We would be out as a family and people would say, "Awwww. You have two boys and a girl." Ummmm....What??  I did not realize my sister Alicia was the only girl child. That was news to me. Maybe I should just accept my role as first born son. NOT! I did not accept my role as first born son. My brother was the only son. I was a girl!

Arguments to the point of tears always occurred when my mother would make that awful announcement that I was due for a hair cut. It got to the point where even at 6 and 7 years old, I knew if my hair was sticking out more than two inches from my scalp, she was going to make me get a haircut. I'd be sobbing, begging her to allow me to grow my hair longer. All she handed me was sugar coated bullshit. "Oh, It's the Dorothy Hamill look. It's very popular with girls right now." Or, "You look like Princess Diana with your hair short." No I don't mom! I look like a BOY!

Yes. I was a tom boy. I was a little wild woman. I played in the dirt. I climbed trees. I rode my red, white and blue Big Wheel around the block. I hid birds and animals in the garage. I made mud pools for my barbies and dirt roads for my matchboxes. I drank from the garden hose. I collected rocks and leaves and other crap that was lying around the sidewalk and streets. I fought with the boys in the neighborhood but also played wiffle ball with them. I was always dirty and bruised and disheveled. My hair would get filled with knots because she would not put my hair in a pony tail or pig tails and I did not know how to do it myself. I could refill my cap gun but I did not know how to put my hair in a pony tail. LOL!

Maybe I never knew how to do that because I never had any HAIR!  Maybe if my mother would have helped a sister out.....

Anyways, when I took my third grade school picture, I swear to god the only reason you could tell I was not a little, freckle faced, red headed boy was because I was wearing a Strawberry Shortcake turtleneck. If I did not wear that shirt, I was so much a dude in that picture. I think it dawned on her too when she saw my third grade pictures, because in fourth grade, I was allowed to have chin length hair. By junior high we had made it to shoulder length hair but never much longer.
 
Once it went too far past my shoulders, it was hair cut time. It was also in junior high that I developed a serious mistrust with hair dressers. They would tell me they were only taking an inch or two off my length. Yea okay. I walked in with my hair falling past my shoulders. Why is my hair suddenly chin length? I have a ruler. I know what an inch looks like! I swear to god I think my mother was telling the hair dressers to lie to me. That is not very nice. Pants on fire!

By high school my mother was gone. She took off. Won't get into it. Needless to say, my hair was now all mine and I was going to grow it nice and long. And I did. I have had long hair since the tenth grade and I absolutely adore it. Yes, there are times when I think about chopping it off completely, especially in the summer. But, I know I would totally regret it. When it gets on my nerves, I throw it up in a clip or a ponytail. In the winter, my hair keeps my neck warm. That is a bonus because I don't do scarves well. I practically strangle myself just trying to tie a scarf in a basic knot. My long hair is my scarf in the winter.

Part of my obsession with having long hair is psychological, I know that, but part of it is that I just love it, and not necessarily in a vain way either. If I was that vain about my hair, I would be a lot more concerned with how I style it. Most days my hair is a complete mess. I'm always thrilled when the "just rolled out bed hair" comes back in style because that is my hair almost every single day.

Truth is, I don't know how to style my hair very well at all. I see so many women walking around with perfectly coiffed hair dos, all gorgeous and neat. There are times I wish I knew how to do that stuff too but I also like to sleep until the last moment every morning. I'm a boss at hitting that snooze button so I just don't have the time to invest in styling my hair like that. I straighten my hair but I am not even good at that. I always miss a few chunks in the back. I always have kinks and waves sticking out from the top layer of my straightened hair.

I like having bangs but am not good at making them look neat. Sometimes I throw a little braid in my hair but it's a messy, straight braid. Sometimes I clip some of my hair back in those little dollar store barrette snaps. Once in awhile I will try to flip the ends of my hair with a curling iron but unless I use a ton of hairspray, and I am not a fan of hairspray, the little flippies don't hold very long.

I tend to wear my hair natural a lot more now but I don't even know what to do with my curls and waves. Sometimes I walk into work with a full blown afro going on but I honestly don't even care. I kind of like the afro. This is me and yes, sometimes I have an afro. It's all good. When I let my hair dry naturally, without using a hair dryer to help it along, it's less afro and more curls. In the winter I can't do that as much though. Doesn't matter. I love and accept whatever mood my long hair is in. I used to fuss over it more but all I was really doing was wasting my time because my hair, like it's owner, is just going to do what it wants anyway. It's better to just go with the flow.

In closing, I must say, I admire all hair. I love the short styles, the bobs, the long layers, the curls, the afros, the wild woman look, the IDGAF look, all of it. I am a huge fan of hair. I even enjoy some of the funky colors out there. Recently when I was in Wal-Mart, I saw this beautiful, light pink, temporary dye you can apply to chunks of your hair. For a moment, I debated buying it. I still might. The color reminded me of a delicate pink rose. It was stunning.

Yes, I realize I am a 43 year old woman and that the funky colors should "technically" be left to the younger generations but acting my age gets so boring. I'm a youngster at heart. Always will be. Besides, us Generation X women are re-inventing what a woman's 40's and 50's should like. We feel it should look exactly how you want it to look and not what society expects it to look like. Plain and Simple. If it makes you feel good, if it makes you feel comfortable, if it boosts your self confidence, then own it. Own it with class though, not arrogance. Arrogance makes everything ugly.

Now I'm off to look at recipes to nourish and protect my long hair from the dry heat and cold brittle air that winter always brings. I just ordered an entire product line by Redken to try. I decided to splurge because #1 I work hard and I'm worth it and #2 I need to revive my dry, damaged, color treated, winter hair. I am experiencing some serious breakage unfortunately. I am very excited to give Redken a go.

Below I am sharing some of my favorite hair care tips, recipes and products. I can't afford to go to a salon so I do everything on my own. Maybe some of these links can help some of my fellow DIY hair divas. Get on with your bad self girl.

Sea Salt Hair Detox

I have always had very dry, temperamental hair. I use a lot of product in my hair ranging from smoothing oils, conditioning creams and keratin treatments to styling gels, mousses and thermal protection sprays. These products work wonders but they also leave residue behind even after shampooing. As the residue builds, the products applied not only become less effective but they can also start damaging your hair rather than help it. This detox removes the buildup from my tresses allowing my products to do their thing. I detox 1-2X per month.




Baking Soda Scalp Detox

Not only does product build up on your hair, it also builds up on your scalp. The more build up on your scalp, the slower your hair grows. Build up and residue on your scalp also can damage new hair growth. it's important to remove any build up and residue on your scalp. This treatment works very well for me. I make sure to massage it deep into my roots and scalp and allow it to sit for 10-15 minutes before rinsing. I do this once a month 






The Tangle Teezer

I will not use any other brush on my hair anymore. This brush is worth it's weight in gold. Not only does it get through my knots and tangles after washing my hair very gently and easily, but there is way less breakage.  A bonus little tip I will let you in on, as I mentioned above, scalp build up is not good. I use this brush to gently massage my scalp when my hair is wet. Not only does it loosen scalp build up, but it increases blood circulation to my scalp. Blood circulation to your scalp helps promote hair growth. I love this brush and will be ordering more shortly not only for me, but for gifts as well. This is how much I love this brush. 


Herbal Essence Tousle Me Softly Gel And Mousse

I just love these two products. They smell incredible and they give me a little more control over my hair without being too sticky or heavy. Bonus, they are cheap! 










Joico K-Pak Split End Mender

This product is a little pricey but it does work. You have to use it every time you wash your hair because while it does mend somewhat, it is more of a split end glue. No, it does not feel like glue at all, but it mends split ends like glue. It helps you keep your length while you grow your hair out a little to trim the ends and prevents further damage. 








Hair Skin and Nail Vitamins

I take these 2-3 times a day. One when I first wake up, one right before I got to sleep and usually one midday, when I remember. I have taken these vitamins for the last 5-6 years. They really do work. My hair breaks a lot in the winter and I never really lose length because I take these. Now, if I could only gain some length. I process my hair so much so it is hard. We are working on that though. I won't ever go with out these vitamins. Nature's Bounty is definitely my favorite brand so far. I try to buy them when they are BOGO. 




Chrissy