Eventually they evolved into risque variety shows that often included musical numbers, vaudeville acts and women stripping. The stripping wasn't "bare all" nudity, but close enough. In America, Burlesque was really popular from the mid 1800's until around the 1940's-1950's.
Recently though, Burlesque is beginning to make a comeback. I always love when old fashioned things make a comeback. I feel it is a really cool way to experience a period of time you may have found interesting or intriguing but were not able to witness live and in person. Plus, I miss some of the more simple ways of the world gone by.
So, when my friend Caryn planned a girls night including a Burlesque show for February, we were so down for it. I had never seen a Burlesque show but they seemed like they would be fun. My curiosity would soon be satiated. And perhaps by the end of the night a folding car seat would be broken.
We started girls night at the Susquehanna Brewing Company. I'm not much of a beer fan really, but I do enjoy going to breweries and sampling. The SBC has a tasting room where you can buy all the beers they brew on tap. I stood in line studying the beer menu with Meghan. I genuinely had no idea what I would even like. The menu did have a Wild Blueberry Hill beer listed. Maybe I would try that that since I love the flavor of blueberries. Then I noticed they had a small variety of wine. I figured I would just get wine until my friend Nadalie offered me a sip of her Blueberry beer. It was actually really good.
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| Blueberry Beer |
I also found it quite hilarious that Caryn ordered pizzas to be delivered to the brewery for us. They took forever to arrive unfortunately, so we only had 20 minutes to eat. Showtime was at 8:00 pm. We chowed down on the pizza immediately. It was tasty.
Hanging at the brewery and chatting with all the gals was the perfect start to the night. When it was time to leave, Becky rounded up all 9 of us. Yes. I said 9. Let the Chinese Fire Drills begin. All 9 of us piled into what I think was an Expedition but I could be wrong. It had three rows of seats and it was white. That is all I know.
We were a little snug in there but it was a riot. Total props to Becky for driving like a boss because honestly, it was like driving a school bus full of unruly children. She not only had a lot of patience but she also had us to the theater in Duryea on time.
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| My kitten Caryn! |
"Technically" having some cocktails and dancing around my kitchen does count as a BYOB show which in turn means that I have been to at least 500 BYOB shows. Yes, they were one woman, no audience shows but some of my performances were pretty epic if I say so myself. They totally count. However, for the purpose of this blog, I'll pretend I don't do stuff like that.
We made our way to the theater. Just like most little theaters in NEPA, this one was old and a little run down. I absolutely loved that though. It added to the charm and kitsch of theatrical art. Some of the best shows and performances occur in these little dive theaters.
No, they are not fancy productions with elaborate sets but the performances are genuine and from the heart. By attending these shows and venues, you are contributing to your local artists. You are supporting something positive in a small community. You are allowing these dancers, actors and performers to do something they love. It's a very good thing. I should know. I was in theater when I was a kid.
Straight away I noticed a face painter in the lobby. Both Becky and Maggie strongly suggested that I needed to get my face painted. They were right. I did need that in my life. I would so do it at intermission. For now though, I began exploring the lobby of the theater. The walls were covered with all these framed posters and playbills from famous shows and movies. Fascinated, I studied them intently. So many of these plays had once graced the NYC Theater district. I wish I could have seen them all. I'm still bummed I never saw Starlight Express.
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| Theater art! |
Say what? Oh kids, this was fantastic! I was really digging this show already and it technically didn't even start yet. After the curse word regatta it was dirty jokes time. Our host started telling us dirty jokes. She then asked us to share ours. Meghan took this opportunity to proudly shared one of her dirty jokes.
"How do you stump an archeologist?"
"Give them a tampon and ask them to identify what period it came from." LMAO!!!
SHOWTIME! The stunning Emcee and Burlesque dance instructor Jezabelle von Jane took the stage. She was a natural at comedy, sarcasm and wit. Did I mention she was stunning? She was beautiful and sparkly and dressed like a sexy ring master. I so much wanted her black top hat spilling with feather plumes.
She introduced the first performers of the night as they took the stage. They did a cute little number in lingerie. I loved all of their sparkly make up. They had glittery red lips, stunning false eyelashes and shimmers all over their bodies. I could walk around like that all the time but I don't. Maybe I should add more sparkle and long eyelashes to my life. Why not? The second act was a performance of the song Cabaret. The guy performing it wore a trench coat at the beginning of the song but ended it wearing pasties and aqua blue underwear. Our first male strip tease of the night people. I found the pasties hilarious. He did a great job though.
It was now time for the first appearance by the star of the show. I believe her name is Vivi Noir and she is a professional Burlesque dancer with years of experience under her belt. She was also the producer of the show.
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| Our Emcee/Burlesque teacher and that Mime!! |
Playful and deliberate, Vivi entranced the entire audience completely. By the end of the number, she was dancing in nothing but gold pasties and a thong. I honestly felt like I was in a 1940's NYC Burlesque club. She was that amazing.
As the night went on, our group became more rowdy, but in a good way. We were dancing along to the music, swaying in our seat. Two other troupe dancers also performed Burlesque strip teases. One girl was dressed like Marie Antoinette. She danced to a mix of Killer Queen by Queen and Rock Me Amadeus by Falco. I forgot how much I loved that song. I found myself dancing in my chair singing along with Falco.
The next girl to perform had big purple feather fans incorporated into her striptease. My eyes grew big and my mouth dropped. I loved them so much. I exclaimed that I needed those fans in my life. Maggie asked me when my birthday was. I told her August. She told me in August she would get them for me. Maggie is such a riot.
There was also a mime dude in the play. Becky asked me if I was okay and if I was scared of the mime. I told her I was okay because I didn't look directly at his face. He wasn't a scary or creepy mime though. He was sweeping the stage and picking up all the girls' clothing after each of their performances. I found that weirdly attractive. A man that cleans? How fantastic!
They closed the first half of the show with one of Jezabelle's newer Burlesque students. She was an older woman that had always wanted to learn to dance but did not have much confidence. After putting her son through college she decided she needed to live a little. She got up the courage to start taking burlesque lessons. As "Black Velvet" by Alana Miles started thumping through the sound system, this woman performed her very first live burlesque dance for us. It was so great. The entire audience was screaming along to the song, clapping and cheering her on. She did great!
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| The Rowdy Gals! |
She left the stage after her performance and Jezabelle came back on, all proud of her student. The crowd was clapping like mad. I believe it was Caryn that stood up and yelled for them to bring her back on stage. The mime went and fetched her. As this woman walked back on stage, we all gave her a standing ovation.
She started bawling. Her teacher was sobbing. I know tears were running down my face. I think we were all crying including the manly men in the audience. The balls it took for this woman to come up on stage, own her body and perform a beautiful striptease was so inspiring and awesome to witness. This was one of her dreams and she made it come true. I was so happy to witness that.
After we all dabbed our eyes with some Kleenex, it was time for intermission. Dancers started walking around selling pasties and flower clips. Meghan paid the face painter $10 to give our tipsy Caryn some eyebrows. Instead the girl started painting Caryn's face. Meghan did not realize the girl was there to paint faces not do make up. Oh how I love these ladies. They crack me up so much.
After Caryn was done, Becky and Maggie reminded me that I needed some face painting in my life. Heck yes I did! I pulled my $10 out of my purse but Caryn insisted on paying for my painting. All of these gals are so sweet to me. Becky told me to use my ticket money for gas to go see my son. I am seriously blessed. And Caryn did not tell the girl to give me eyebrows. LMAO!!
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| Getting my face painted. |
The face painting girl asked me what my favorite color was. I informed her that blue was my favorite color. She asked me if I liked sparkles. Of course I told her. She was so sweet, taking care not to get my Betsy Johnson beanie full of face paint. I could not believe it only took her two minutes to do such a beautiful design on my face.
She painted blue and purple flower petals with sparkles around my eye. It was very detailed too. I told Becky and Maggie I never wanted to wash it off. I loved it that much. I snapped a few selfies, bought some orange rhinestone pasties because when in Rome and got a cute little white flower clip for my hair, complete with purple sparklies.
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| I wear it better than Tyson. I think. |
In the meantime, our gorgeous emcee and teacher took the stage again. She started telling us about the previous two Burlesque shows they had for Halloween and Christmas. She explained that she made her producer wear tassels and assels for a Christmas performance. We were all a little confused by that statement, not gonna lie. WTF are assels? No worries, our question would soon be answered.
Before we go any farther, let me just say, I will never be able to listen to Christmas Eve In Sarajevo by TSO again without thinking about this next performance. Once again, Vivi Noir took the stage. This time she was dressed in red and took no time stripping off her brassiere. She was wearing red tassles on her breasts. Shit was about to get real!
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| Good times at Burlesque. |
For the second half of the song, she proceeded to remove her skirt to reveal a tassle on each butt cheek. She began swirling them around doing mach 10 in perfect unison to the guitars as well. But it doesn't stop there.
She did a back bend while swirling her boobie tassels then she flipped over and was swirling the ones on her butt. She did a back bend again, all the time swirling those tassles to the beat. She kept flipping and bending and swirling.
Christmas Eve in Sarajevo/Carol of the Bells by TSO is not a slow song by any means. I was exhausted just watching her. The things this woman was doing with tassles was mind blowing. She had us completly captivated. We also discovered what assels were. I will definitely have to use that word in a sentence soon.
Back to Vivi though. She was absolutely outstanding. True talent right here folks. We were all a little sad when the song was over. Granted that had to be tiring for her. She did not stop the entire song. I thought she probably needed a break. I was so wrong. Vivi was right back on stage with the girls performing a number to "A Little Party Never Killed Nobody" from Gatsby.
After that, we watched a ballet striptease performance of Swan Lake/Black Swan by a drag queen. It was pretty good. He ended the performance in a black tutu with black matching pasties. I was beginning to think pasties are a big part of Burlesque. It only took me 10 performances to come to this conclusion.
The mime came on next. He was talking and singing this time. I was confused. The girls on stage with him were dressed like french maids. He was giving them jewelry and money. Becks, Maggie and I look over at Caryn. She was stripped down to her tank top, dancing and swinging her arms to the music. She was miming the mime. We were rolling.
They were definitely popping bottles like a G6 on that side of the row. I turned my eyes back to the stage. WTF? The mime's clothes were gone. He was now dancing on the stage in pasties and a thong. I decided to call total bullshit on this performance. He wasn't fooling me. There was no way he was a real mime. Mimes don't speak. Nice try buddy. Faker!
Finally, it was time for audience participation. Now was our girl's chance to get up there and show us what she got. Vivi said they needed three people to come on stage. We were all screaming at the girls to pick our friend. They did pick her mostly because they were shocked that someone was actually volunteering. Usually they had to coax people to come up. Not Jelly Bean Hazle Academy. She was ready to go. The girls also convinced a guy and another girl to go on stage. We had our three.
Vivi taught them the three basic dance steps of Burlesque.
1. Shake your boobs.
2. Grind your hips.
3. Jiggle your ass.
We then had to vote on the best performer. All three of them followed the steps. Our group was going nuts, yelling and screaming and cheering. We cheered on all of them because why wouldn't we. Of course we cheered the hardest for our girl. She was too funny.
Vivi finally decided that they all deserved to win prizes. I thought that was an awesome idea. I also found it funny that the guy choose pasties as his prize. I am pretty sure they were for his woman but it was hilarious nonetheless. Our girl picked out a big red flower clip for her hair which she did not take off for the rest of the night. Why should she? She won a major award. She deserved to show it off proudly.
Jezabelle von Jane took the stage next. She was in an orange and turquoise number and did a Latin Burlesque strip tease complete with palm tree fans. For the finale they brought a bath tub on stage. Hmmmm. Wonder what they are going to do with that? The emcee said Vivi was a dirty girl and needed a bath. Vivi proceeded to do a high energy striptease complete with acrobatics on the bathtub, in the bath tub, on the side of the bath tub, then back in the bath tub. That bath tub got a lot of love that night.
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| Vivi Noir. Just wow!! |
Again, Vivi was absolutely fabulous. The girl definitely had moves. You could tell she loved what she was doing and took pride in putting on a good show. She had the brightest smile in every performance she did. Her smile made her even more beautiful. All in all, the troupe put on one hell of a show for us. We all enjoyed it very much and were very sad to see it end. As we made our way out of the stage room and into the lobby, the emcee/teacher was out there, thanking everyone for attending which I thought was great.
In closing, I must say that I will most certainly go to more Burlesque shows. They are funny, exciting and very tasteful. I loved how they portrayed the striptease as it should be. A true striptease is the slow and deliberate art of seduction. Sometimes it can be a little silly and playful. Sometimes it can be a little kittenish and bashful. Nonetheless, it is always very sensual.
What I think I respected most about the show was that these were real people of all shapes and sizes doing their thing on the stage. There were no flat stomachs and six pack abs on that stage. There were no fake breasts on that stage. Each performer owned their entire body with confidence. I found that to be very sexy and inspiring.
They were all attractive in their own fabulous way. No one in the audience looked away in horror and disgust. We were all completely engaged and entranced through the entire show. Perfection does not exist and those that seek it are missing out on all the beautiful imperfections in life.
Don't let life you pass you by in your quest for perfection people! Enjoy all the scenery and bask in the glow of your own perfectly imperfect, imperfections.
Chrissy
